I’ve been in a constant state of process since returning from Kenya. I’ve been in the States for three weeks now. Since my return I have traveled from Cincinnati to Fort Meyers, Fl. to Indianapolis. My mind has been running and thoughts circling ferociously. Not many people can tell when my mind is going through such excruciating work. Thankfully, my best friend on this planet can tell. Last night’s air was filled with my whirlwind words and cleared quickly with a simple statement from my dear friend. “Jennifer, God loves you.” Thoughts calmed instantly. Lord, thank you for my dear friend. Let our conversations always be full of you.
I have noticed that when all the lights are on, people tend to talk about what they are doing – their outer lives. Sitting round in candlelight or firelight, people start to talk about how they are feeling – their inner lives. They speak subjectively, they argue less, there are longer pauses. To sit alone without any electric light is curiously creative. I have my best ideas at dawn or at nightfall, but not if I switch on the lights – then I start thinking about projects, deadlines, demands, and the shadows and shapes of the house become objects, not suggestions, things that need to done, not a background to thought.